World's Greatest Shock Rock Band Guarantees Orgasm for All Who Attend
That's right, your lords and masters GWAR announced today that all humans who show up at this year's GWAR-B-Q are guaranteed an orgasm. Of course, for most of you this will amount to a pathetic dribble in your already stained underpants as you die at the hands of GWAR, but all sales are final!
This year's GWAR B-Q is a three day celebration of all things GWAR marking the band's 30th year with a weekend long Birthday Bash on , 15th and 16th. As in years past, GWAR-B-Q is more than a rock concert, think of it as a field day of hatred and death, with a full program of special events and attractions designed to lure humans to their deaths.
This year will see the return of the "Spew-O-Lympics", a semi-aquatic-flail-fest of despair! Wanna-be contestants are required to submit a short essay on why they feel they should be considered to participate in this hallowed event. Longer than 200 words ensures immediate disqualification (and dismemberment). The band themselves will read these essays while taking a dump, and judge the top selections. Find out how to enter at https://www.facebook.com/
Also returning this year is the GWAR-B-Q, Rolling Wheels of DeathSkate Park. In an effort to bump up the number of life altering casualties, GWAR has added a second half pipe that is 6' tall and 12' wide with a 7' transition. Remember you must be 18 to enter the park and will have to sign a waiver to be able to participate.
The insane freaks from the FBM Bike Co. will also be back again with multiple bike ramps to propel hapless Bohabs high into the air, just to come crashing down into the inky depths of Hadad's Lake.
Prepare to visit the "Crypt of Chaos", the GWAR-themed horror experience! Combining Slave Pit's demented artistry and the pedigree of Tim Bunch's House of Horrors. This will be one of the sickest, most terrifying experiences of your brief and miserable life. Once inside, you will beg for release, and if you are lucky enough to survive, you will emerge a bloody, broken shell of your former self. Enter at your own risk!
Also, for the first time in its sordid history, the 6th annual GWAR B-Q will host a GWARRIOR Costume Contest! We all know GWAR doesn't wear costumes, but they encourage you to show up to the event wearing the most outrageous and deranged costume you can come up with for the chance to win a variety of excellent prizes including a BKT6FR GUITAR from BLAKHART, tons of SWAG from MONSTER and a GWAR B-Q skate deck. The winner will also be presented live on stage in front of the festival crowd. The contest takes place on the Scumdog Stage and will be judged by Tony Foresta of local thrash metal masters, Municipal Waste. More info will be announced soon in the events section at www.gwarbq.com.
Ultimate Bohab Guide
The Ultimate Bohab Guide has everything you need to know about celebrating GWAR's 30th Birthday Bash weekend. From where to shit, where to eat and where to stay, The Ultimate Bohab Guide has it all. If you have a question about the weekend's festivities, even if it's a stupid one (which it probably is), this guide will have the answers. What kind of food is there? Check The Ultimate Bohab Guide! What kind of beer is there? Check The Ultimate Bohab Guide! Will I get laid at the GWAR B-Q! Check The Ultimate Bohab Guide (although the answer is probably No.) Will I have the best drunken weekend ever celebrating the 30th Birthday of the Eternal Masters GWAR? Fuck yes you will! But check The Ultimate Bohab Guide just to make sure! View The Ultimate Bohab Guide HERE. See you at the Q!
ALL TICKET INFORMATION HERE! http://gwarbq.com/buy-tickets
*GWAR does not guarantee the orgasm will be yours, or that you will survive it, but there will be an orgasm*
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